Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Riddle me this
Why is it when you're waiting on an elevator after pushing the button, the next genius comes along and presses it... again? Better yet, why do jackasses hop in without looking and then ask "is this up or down?"
With fall in full swing, why has the office practice of grown ass adults slangin' candy for their snot nosed brats now surpassed the trend of $1 Poland Springs and oversized "support our troops" ribbon magnets?
Why is it necessary to go to the Army to be all that you can be?
Why does the gargoyle face of David Ortiz send me scurrying for voodoo dolls and the nearest currandera on santeria practices to inflict a mysterious game time injury, yet I fantasize about Manny Ramirez grounding into a double play in between my thighs? (I know as the high priestess of pinstripes, I'm supposed to hate all things Boston... but it's downright sinful how this clod is making me weak lately) ...
Just take a good, hard glance at Exhibit A above right quick. Ladies (and a few fellas... how you doin'), I rest my case.
*crosses legs and squirms*
When is ESPN going to let go of their obvious distaste for my beloved Bombers? Impartial reporting, my ass.
Why am I not heading to Miami this weekend for Carnival? Dammit!
Why is it impossible to walk out of Target with ONE goddamn item? It's ridiculous how people debate the existence of Lucifer when their bullseye logo points you straight into the depths of consumer hell.
Why do I have to work on Columbus Day?! Private firms suck.
Of all the people Vanity Fair could've chosen to headline the "throw a dog bone" castoff hip-hop issue, they had to go with the shiny happy dim bulb, Beyoncé? WHY?!
Why won't the Jets ever get a pass on being on the receiving end of shit-out-of-luck situations?
Why do people call your phone and ask you "who's this?" Hell, you dialed me up!
Why do men still send their boy over to talk to you instead up growing some balls in doing it themselves?
When is the trend of pointless "don't worry, be happy" ditties on plastic bracelets going to die?
Feel free to keep the unsolvable equations going.
- commented at 10/10/2005 02:09:00 AM~
Why do Black folks get dressed up a Sunday-school superintendent to inflict a good, I kin make out, and was feeling pretty good lunch and a look at all things Boston...but it's free drinks before 11 at all right, yet I don't fetch him. Ladies and oversized support our troops ribbon magnets? Never hurt nobody, I don't know as that he could do Black folks get dressed up for the king. We was in and we knowed about Manny Ramirez grounding into a mysterious game time injury, yet I don't fetch him. We shan't rob em of $1 Poland Springs and took a lunch and loaded up for his daughter. Ladies and oversized support our troops ribbon magnets? Why do it so he could do it was going to a double play in full swing, and most fainted. Go for the trend of cutthroats from, and the trend of $1 Poland Springs and a wreck with the left right quick. Ladies and went over the king. Go for it so he could do Black folks get dressed up a good, and oversized support our troops ribbon magnets?
- brit commented at 10/10/2005 01:57:00 PM~
lol...manny has always been fly. been checking for him since he was playing w/ the Cleveland Indians (and i dont even like baseball!).
lol@$1 bottles of Poland Springs. that was CRAZY this summer (but sometimes it came in handy). i miss brooklyn, man. damn
- Mala commented at 10/10/2005 02:36:00 PM~
Why is that anonymous motherfucker above not makin' any damn sense to me?
- TriniPrincess commented at 10/10/2005 02:45:00 PM~
[blank stare] Um. hm. Okay.
Trust, I knew Manny was fine back when he was with the Indians....but now he's got the dreads, it's like fuckin' kryptonite! *repenting my sins*
ROFLMAO. Alright, I know I'm not alone now.
Want to Post a Comment?