Monday, October 31, 2005
Bewitched, bothered & bewildered
Tricks aren't just for kids: Memo to women with a madonna/whore complex who don't have the balls to wear latex and fishnets on any of the other 364 days of the year. Dressing up like a slut for Halloween isn't cute, it's simply a contrived excuse to release your inner harlot under the guise of "being someone else." Can donning the naughty nurse or French maid motifs just to wind up face first in some strange guy's lap be any less creative?
"If there's one lesson to learn in college, it's that nothing brings out a person's inner asshole like a costume. Alcohol may unhinge our self-control, but eventually, it also makes us barf, putting a stop to the insanity. A costume, on the other hand, gives the dangerous impression of anonymity, a conscious break from our usual standards of behavior." - Nina Lalli, The Village VoiceLadies, if you need to wait for an annual faux-holiday that's geared to children for an excuse to let your freak flag fly without shame...you may want to consider trading scriptures for the Kama Sutra more often.
To commemorate the all-day festival of fright...I bring to you, the 20 greatest horror flicks of all time as selected by a blue ribbon panel, spearheaded by a sleep deprivation expert. Yours truly...try and sit through these when no one's home on a late night.
20) Sleepaway Camp
18) The Haunting
17) Salem's Lot
16) The Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
13) Friday The 13th
12) The Omen
9) Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer
6) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and I mean the 1974 Tobe Hooper original, not the bullshit update starring tits on toast, Jessica Biel...blecch!)
5) The Shining
3) A Nightmare On Elm Street
1) The Exorcist
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