"I was dreamin' when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray...
But when I woke up this mornin', could have sworn it was judgment day..." — Prince, 1999.

America just had its septic system pumped after six years of fascist diarrhea. After abject depression and serious contemplation of escaping into the still sane arms of our neighbors to the North, the smear-drenched depression that has polarized us from one catastrophe to another all converged into the big blue tide that swept many remnants of Newt Gingrich's 1994 conservative coup out to sea. Not even after the votes were officially tallied in Virginia had Donald Rumsfeld been yanked out from the comfort zone of the Pentagon like a $2 ho. Already a week has passed and the aftershocks still seem as if it was all a dream. It's like going to bed with Al Roker and waking up next to Denzel Washington overnight.

While the change was blowing in the wind for weeks leading up to the day at the polls, this is the Democratic party we're talking about. The political equivalent of the Three Stooges who make snatching defeat from the jaws of victory seem effortless. However, the left wisely got out of the way and let the GOP implode all by their lonesome. Stupidity, corruption and incompetence all made for the perfect storm just before this election to destroy the Bush mafia's carefully laid plans. Were it not for that, the Dems would still be sitting peacefully on the back benches wondering whether to say anything critical of the war in Iraq. And in spite of it all, they've again been given the chance to prove themselves to mainstream voters as a viable alternative in the run-up to the 2008 election. While breathless praise has been given to Rep. Rahm Emanuel and hometown boy Sen. Charles Schumer, the one conspicuously omitted is the blessedly forward thinking, Howard Dean.

Yep, a huge debt is owed to the good ol' Hulkamaniac screamer. Do you think the Dems would have Congress today with that bumbling, cowardly piece of shit, Terry McAuliffe at the helm? Or raised a whopping $50 million in an off-campaign year? Dean is tough, fearless, and pities the fools who won't put in the time to rebuild the infrastructure from the ground up. Just the kind of jolt the DNC desperately needed. Dean and Schumer made the Dems work, and work hard, for the first time in fifteen years - something they'd forgotten how to do once that smooth operator Bill Clinton fell into their laps, so they treated elections as the excuse for more corporate sponsorship and cocktail parties.

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." — Mahatma Gandhi

It takes a special brand of arrogant douche bag to be blinded to the inevitable defeat Neo-Cons were handed. And that bloated turd of a man we owe gratitude and thanks to the most turns out to be the puppet master himself, Karl Rove. What's that old saying Bush mangled so succinctly? "Fool me once ... won't get fooled again." On his watch, he presided over a regime that made dissent equivalent to treason. Once pompous in victory, he's now humbled in defeat. How sweet it is.

It's entertaining watching the castrated bullies cannibalize themselves in the wake of this "thumpin'." The prospect of the Bolton appointment being rejected has foaming at the mouth, positively beside themselves.

"Whaddya mean King George isn't gonna have free reign? Where's the rubber stamp for Christ's sake? What the hell is this? Al-Qaeda is rejoicing. Good Lord, we're all sitting ducks. Raise the Crayola terror alert!"

After twelve years of listening to heartbreaking election nights full of asshole Rethuglican goons pledging bipartisanship while twisting the knife in our backs, I just want to send a heartfelt "fuck you" shout out to all my right-wing acquaintances. Nancy Pelosi, the supposed she-wolf from Sodom, is about to make U.S. history as the madam of the House. The country hates you, I hate you, and even Jesus hates you. Fuck you all for bringing us a child emperor who's long on political pedigree, short on any semblance of intellect. Fuck you for starting an illegal, immoral war, creating generations of terrorists who have even more reasons to "hate us for our freedom," alienating our foreign allies, wiping your ass with the Bill of Rights and jizzing over the entire concept of habeas corpus. Fuck you for marginalizing everyone from gays to the middle class and most of all, the poor in your bloodthirsty quest to retain a stranglehold on absolute power. And ultimately fuck you for championing the cause of self-righteous, hypocritical sheep.

But let it never be said that Americans have lost the ability to self-correct. It only took six years, but finally blinders are being taken off and the masses are coming around to what a precious few knew from the very beginning.

Maybe we're actually going to be able to get this country realigned on a course worth traveling. Maybe social security won't be printed on Monopoly money in my lifetime.

Let freedom finally reign.

Labels: elections, politics