So, I'm alive. Moody, misbehaving and feeling eerily menopausal about two decades early but singing like a motherfucking rooster at sunrise.

Well, not singing really. And definitely not at sunrise.

*crickets chirping*

All right, see what had happened was... it never occurred to me just how much I'd suffer through web withdrawal until my access on both PC's ground to a halt just prior to Memorial Day rolling around. First the battery on my regular notebook succumbed to that scrap heap in the sky due to all the power-sapping abuse I inflicted after months of all-night Limewire downloading sessions. $390 later for servicing that did nothing and untold levels of anger later, I was onto plan B. Use my emergency source to tide me over until I could sort things out. Then dark clouds of bad luck centered itself on my backup laptop I had set aside for business & travel purposes only. That too went the way of Christina Milian's record deal and I was officially assed out. It got so bad that this little slacker was reduced to staying late at the office till the witching hours of 8-9:00 p.m. just to do online banking, check MLB standings and keep my lines of credit up to date with constant account monitoring since I had the bright idea that going paperless from now on would make my life easier. A bitch was lingering in the electronics section at Circuit City just to sneak a peek at the e-mail inbox for crying out loud. Pathetic shit, ain't it?

Tumbleweeds have been blowing through for the past 6 months and for a blogger, that's a goddamn eternity. It's almost embarrassing admitting this shit as I type. Trust. I know. I'm aware. To say my online resources have been limited is an understatement of monumental proportions and your girl don't have the IT hookups like she used to at the corporate plantation. Sucks to accept my days of underachieving web surfs from 9 to 5 are effectively over. Compounding the fact that venturing into the world of computer repair would just turn into a slippery slope of excuses, aggravation and bullshit between the powers that be (Comp USA & Sony Support can both blow me), I was beginning to think that save forking over another thou for a new system, just updating my iPod would be a mission impossible.

So in my super-extended absence, it may have seemed as if I administered last rites to this joint. And for a split second, I gave a plug pull serious contemplation. On the rare occasions when I did try to kick start some random thoughts here and there while Massa was on his lunch hour, Blogger would conveniently have their heads up their asses with another program update. Faster than you can say, "scheduled system outage," paragraphs went up in smoke. It's at this point when I had middle fingers hoisted ready to move on. But then to my surprise, I began getting e-mails from inquiring minds wanting to know whether something new would be coming down the pike anytime soon. Folks checking for moi? You don't say... I suppose navigating through life with an off-balance compass doesn't ring hollow to myself alone.

So what have you missed during the latest off-air hiatus of the sitcom I call life? Oh, just the usual storylines interweaving itself day and day out. I've been working, drinking, sleeping, shopping, smoking, crying, fucking, rushing, plotting, stressing, pondering, waiting, daydreaming.... there's so much to cover that I don't have to time name check the vast span of current events that have zoomed by. Luckily for me, I went back to basics with the trusty Mead composition book to jot down a few thoughts while I was living in the land of the unplugged. So expect to see some woefully outdated shit float to the surface as I get my bearings for the umpteenth time.

In other words, ain't shit changed but the date on the range. So shall I proceed to give you what you don't really need? Yes indeed.

Let's get it.