Wednesday, January 31, 2007
If you can't stand the heat....

A minimum wager who now joins me on the unemployment line in F&W's public relations laid the mother of all goose eggs, "accidentally" leaking an online feature which inexplicably revealed who the big winner was before Bravo even had a chance to aggravate us all again with more product placement ads before the commercial break. Somehow I get the feeling Gail Simmons offered to use the culprit as a blood sacrifice. Does this put a damper on being excited for seeing the final cookoff in the comfort of my own bedroom with Haagen-Dazs as my companion? Hell to the no. My TiVo is programmed and ready to roll.


Labels: foodie, reality TV, Top Chef
Thursday, January 25, 2007
A tip of the scales

"It was such a strange meanness and rejoicing that people had," she says in People's next issue, on stands Friday. The magazine says she believes the photos were snapped at an unflattering angle. (She will wear the same swimsuit on the Feb. 1 episode of The Tyra Banks Show.) Banks, 33, worries about what effect such reports might have on her fans. "I get so much mail from young girls who say, 'I look up to you … I think you're beautiful,' " she tells People. "So when they say that my body is 'ugly' and 'disgusting,' what does that make those girls feel like?"



After all is said and done, the need for reciting Iyanla Vanzant cribnotes that it's okay not to look like a walking hanger will grow stale. Mouthing "I am beautiful in every single way, words can't bring me down..." in the mirror as a daily affirmation will seem passe. So she'll hop on the Zone and shed the 30 lbs. faster than her ill-advised stab at singing. Real women do have curves, Tyra. Own it 'round the clock, not just in time for sweeps week.
Labels: body image, tabloids, Tyra Banks, weight gain
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
All that glitters gets you a gold statue

"Everybody comes to HollywoodThe Academy Awards are the pièce de résistance of the awards season, where everyone involved in the film industry sits in a big room, pretends to be interested in riveting categories like Best Sound Editing and wonders how many Santeria offerings does it take to keep Jennifer Lopez perpetually RSVP'd. All in the name of a bedraggled golden gigolo who's banged any and every sleaze that's had money, given out countless, totally undeserved mercy fucks, and occasionally rubbed elbows with the truly worthy. The time has finally arrived for eager Oscar hopefuls to be roused from slumber, groggy from the remnants of coke still caked around their nostrils and hold their breath for that annual slice of 5:30 AM Pacific Time magic. The chosen few spend the rest of the day fielding carefully rehearsed reaction from press scribes far too willing to keep the golden shower of congratulations going, while the snubbed valiantly try to save face through gritted teeth since the Plan B excuse of "it's an honor just to be nominated" in the humble pie handbook need not apply.
They wanna make it in the neighborhood
They like the smell of it in Hollywood
How could it hurt you when it looks so good..." - Madonna

The former frontrunners at Paramount & DreamWorks find themselves oddly juxtaposed between euphoria and being brutally rebuffed at the For Your Consideration roundtable, becoming the only Best Picture shutout to ever receive the most nominations in its year. This supposed snub is, presumably, a result of the latent prejudice of Hollywood in general. Many of these racial snubs in the past reek of bullshit by the powers that be, but this time around? Let's pipe down the paranoia. How else to explain inclusions of Forest Whitaker, Will Smith, Djimon Hounsou, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, Rinko Kikuchi & Alejandro González Iñárritu in the same year?
If there is a disappointment, it lies in the inevitable. The script forces the most exciting character offscreen for the sake of giving marquee attraction of Ms. Knowles more camera time. Once J-Hud goes away, most of the energy fizzles out of the picture. The bland-by-numbers Beyoncé just does not and cannot measure up. At least when Hitchcock bumped off Janet Leigh early on, he left us with Tony Perkins to take us the rest of the way home.

Best Picture: "Babel," "The Departed," "Letters From Iwo Jima," "Little Miss Sunshine," "The Queen."
Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio, "Blood Diamond," Ryan Gosling, "Half Nelson," Peter O'Toole, "Venus," Will Smith, "The Pursuit of Happyness," Forest Whitaker, "The Last King of Scotland."
Actress: Penélope Cruz, "Volver," Judi Dench, "Notes on a Scandal," Helen Mirren, "The Queen," Meryl Streep, "The Devil Wears Prada," Kate Winslet, "Little Children."
Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, "Little Miss Sunshine," Jackie Earle Haley, "Little Children," Djimon Hounsou, "Blood Diamond," Eddie Murphy, "Dreamgirls," Mark Wahlberg, "The Departed."
Supporting Actress: Adriana Barraza, "Babel," Cate Blanchett, "Notes on a Scandal," Abigail Breslin, "Little Miss Sunshine," Jennifer Hudson, "Dreamgirls," Rinko Kikuchi, "Babel."
Directing: Alejandro González Iñárritu, "Babel," Martin Scorsese, "The Departed," Clint Eastwood, "Letters From Iwo Jima," Stephen Frears, "The Queen," Paul Greengrass, "United 93."
Foreign Language Film: "After the Wedding," Denmark, "Days of Glory (Indigenes)," Algeria, "The Lives of Others," Germany, "Pan's Labyrinth," Mexico, "Water," Canada.
Adapted Screenplay: Sacha Baron Cohen and Anthony Hines and Peter Baynham and Dan Mazer and Todd Phillips, "Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," Alfonso Cuaron and Timothy J. Sexton and David Arata and Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby, "Children of Men," William Monahan, "The Departed," Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, "Little Children," Patrick Marber, "Notes on a Scandal."
Original Screenplay: Guillermo Arriaga, "Babel," Iris Yamashita and Paul Haggis, "Letters From Iwo Jima," Michael Arndt, "Little Miss Sunshine," Guillermo del Toro, "Pan's Labyrinth," Peter Morgan, "The Queen."
Animated Feature Film: "Cars," "Happy Feet," "Monster House."
Art Direction: "Dreamgirls," "The Good Shepherd," "Pan's Labyrinth," "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," "The Prestige."
Cinematography: "The Black Dahlia," "Children of Men," "The Illusionist," "Pan's Labyrinth," "The Prestige."
Sound Mixing: "Apocalypto," "Blood Diamond," "Dreamgirls," "Flags of Our Fathers," "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest."
Sound Editing: "Apocalypto," "Blood Diamond," "Flags of Our Fathers," "Letters From Iwo Jima," "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest."
Original Score: "Babel," Gustavo Santaolalla, "The Good German," Thomas Newman, "Notes on a Scandal," Philip Glass, "Pan's Labyrinth," Javier Navarrete, "The Queen," Alexandre Desplat.
Original Song: "I Need to Wake Up" from "An Inconvenient Truth," Melissa Etheridge, "Listen" from "Dreamgirls," Henry Krieger, Scott Cutler and Anne Preven, "Love You I Do" from "Dreamgirls," Henry Krieger and Siedah Garrett, "Our Town" from "Cars," Randy Newman, "Patience" from "Dreamgirls," Henry Krieger and Willie Reale.
Costume Design: "Curse of the Golden Flower," "The Devil Wears Prada," "Dreamgirls," "Marie Antoinette," "The Queen."
Documentary Feature: "Deliver Us From Evil," "An Inconvenient Truth," "Iraq in Fragments," "Jesus Camp," "My Country, My Country."
Documentary (Short Subject): "The Blood of Yingzhou District," "Recycled Life," "Rehearsing a Dream," "Two Hands."
Film Editing: "Babel," "Blood Diamond," "Children of Men," "The Departed," "United 93."
Makeup: "Apocalypto," "Click," "Pan's Labyrinth."
Animated Short Film: "The Danish Poet," "Lifted," "The Little Matchgirl," "Maestro," "No Time for Nuts."
Live Action Short Film: "Binta and the Great Idea (Binta Y La Gran Idea)," "Eramos Pocos (One Too Many)," "Helmer & Son," "The Saviour," "West Bank Story."
Visual Effects: "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," "Poseidon," "Superman Returns."
Labels: award shows, Hollywood, movies, nominations, Oscars
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Just like frosting on my cake

Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die..." - The Verve
When life gives you lemons, you're expected to whip up a batch of Country Time, but in my case I'd prefer Jack Daniels straight from the bottle. Whoever said you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth clearly wasn't referring to a pink slip handed down a mere 48 hours from a birthday. Or fighting off a sinus infection that's hampered me for the past 2 weeks only to wind up battling a head cold all over again. Or adding onto the ever-growing tally of "people who can go fuck themselves." But these are the days of the my so-called life. Going through an endless obstacle course of setbacks and disappointments almost make me lose sight of what I was raised to have birthdays mean to me from back in the day. Not extravagant theme parties, not poppin' bottles in a club, not ego stroking from the amount of RSVP's I can rack up on Evite. It all comes back to being grateful to make it through another year. Counting my blessings never seemed so passe, but in spite of the hurdles, there's a few things I still have to be thankful for. My health (or what's left of it), a loving, supportive mom and a roof over my head ranking at the top of the list.
Happy birthday, Aquarius! Nothing is too much trouble for those you love. There's no question you don't even need to think about going the extra mile for them. However, this year it's time to be the star and focus on raising your own level of popularity within the world. To do this, ask for the support of those closest and there will be no limit on how high you can reach.Astrologers have about as much credibility as ambulance chasing legal eagles, but in this case, what's the harm in taking a page from Casey Kasem? My birthday wish is to keep my feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.
Labels: birthday, celebration, reflection
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Hook, line & sinker

"Traveling I only stop at exits- Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why..."
As I stood still among the entire roster of staff members hovered around our Managing Director reading our last rites, all feeling from head to toe just went numb. It wasn't enough that I had worn myself ragged this past week juggling workloads for two, playing the part of a team player since a co-worker fucked me royally by going on vacation last minute. But this was the cherry on the top of my bullshit sundae. All the instances of staying till ungodly hours, skipping lunch hours and inviting gray hairs to take up residence on my head had earned me the ultimate booby prize. A one-way trip to human resources to discuss transitioning and severance packages.
I can't say I was terribly surprised about this turn of events since the rumor mill had never quieted with whispers of consolidation for months. Since the first round of payroll cuts rolled off the chopping block last February, the hologram of job security remained just that. An illusion. However in true white collar fashion, even though the situation gave off premonition vibes, you're still never really quite prepared when innuendo becomes reality.
And the carnage kept on coming. The guillotine wasn't limited to falling just on us sacrificial lambs in New York. Fellow colleagues over in Houston met the same fate as their entire department of operations were also announced as closing. Factor in the additional cuts made in Maryland and the grand total of casualties soared past the 500 mark easily. But the real punchlines were saved when Corporate tried to put a positive PR spin on the unceremonious dismissals this way via e-mail:

Second, this partnership lets us leverage a strategic partner's existing assets, which include a highly educated and experienced workforce, and a track record of operational excellence and client satisfaction.
Third, with ______, _____ has created a truly global service offering, giving us access to talent around the world, allowing a "follow-the-sun" work schedule with 24/7 service capabilities.
Finally, and most importantly, the partnership allows _____ to maintain its focus on its core competencies, increasing our efficiency and furthering our ability to invest in technologies and resources that will continually help our clients."
Translation: "Fuck ya'll, suckas! We're outsourcing this bitch to barely competent Southeast Asians and pocketing your paychecks to keep our profit margins pleasing to the shareholders. 7 figure end-of-year bonuses for us! Schwing!"
The only silver lining to this dark cloud is that this frees me from the fear that was holding me back from pursuing what I truly wanted to make of my life. This job was never anything that fulfilled me and just waking up in the morning to get dressed was a daily struggle. I got accustomed to going through the motions so much that I forgot what trying to build a career feels like. I chose what pays the bills as opposed to what makes me happy and look where it got me. I don't care if I never get to see my byline gracing the front page of the New York Times, my time of being a bench warmer while my aspirations float off into oblivion is over... thankfully. And besides, the only thing better than using up vacation time in rapid succession is throwing caution to the wind with 2 hour liquid lunches. I mean, what are they really gonna do? Fire me? Oops, too late.
Labels: frustration, layoff, unemployment, work
Friday, January 12, 2007
While you were lunching





Labels: Chris Noth, Law And Order: Criminal Intent, Lower Manhattan, shoot, TV
Monday, January 08, 2007
Caffeine and cigarettes

"Why everything that's supposed to be bad make me feel so good?What's your addiction? My working list of weaknesses are far too long to mention with chocolate, Camembert, co-dependent relationships and Chloe leather mary janes near the top of the Kryptonite dosage heap. Lately, I've fallen off the wagon of nicotine aversion (chalk it up to the Super Black Woman suit and cape I've been donning since taking on a heavier workload) and actually going to bed at a decent hour. And the tell tale dark circles are wreaking havoc. However, the silver lining to this bit of self-inflicted abuse is I've been managing to catch up on a TV show that I can't believe I've neglected for this long...
Everything they told me not to is exactly what I would
Man, I tried to stop man
I tried the best I could..."


But enough about non-sexual tension, just a mere head twitch from D'Onofrio could send me over the moon. I've had a jonz in my bonz for him ever since Full Metal Jacket, and yes that's even with the 70 pounds plus gained to play the tormented Private Pyle. I hate to use the term "sensitive," because that usually conjures up images of blubbering girlie men who are way too in touch with their feelings. But as Det. Goren, he's unafraid to show the vulnerabilities of a deeply complex man. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes, but the smarts and the intellect combined with that incredible force of power behind his wit, his temper at times, lends a certain appeal. Whether psychologically manipulating a suspect into the palm of his hands or agonizing over his schizophrenic mother, he's the thinking woman's eye candy. Always ready to strut his brain, so to speak, and that's undeniably sexy.
Labels: Kathryn Erbe, Law And Order: Criminal Intent, TV, vices, Vincent D'Onofrio
Thursday, January 04, 2007
C'mon homie, we major!

The times they are a-changing. Every conservatives nightmare has just come to pass. The Jezebel who represents the liberals playground that is San Francisco's Haight-Ashbury is just a mere two indictments away from the Oval Office. But when Nancy Pelosi took her oath as Speaker of the House and used that inaugural opportunity to imbue the event with tales from the apron strings, out came the claws from the right, left and those in between. Here was the highest-ranked woman ever to achieve elected office in the United States, proudly speaking about crashing through the barriers of the U.S. Capitol, but flooding the dais with children and bragging about her journey from "kitchen to Congress." What gives? I certainly don't think of myself as a hardliner, Birkenstock-wearing, bra burning feminist of the highest order. And I don't feel like Speaker Pelosi committed an act of treason. How unfair is it to ask women who stump on the Hill to somehow transcend their gender when every other facet of their political life is dictated by lack of a Y chromosome?"Now there was a time when they used to say
That behind every great man
There had to be a great woman
But in these times of change, you know
That it's no longer true
So we're coming out of the kitchen
'Cause there's something we forgot to say to you
We say... sisters are doing it for themselves."
What Nancy Pelosi did was share unashamed pride on her brood. Too many on the Right pay lip service to children and family. Too many on the Left (particularly feminists, go figure) are quick to disrespect a woman who chooses to be a parent, let alone a good one.
It's not so much that she felt compelled to publicize her familial history, but as of now that sort of thing that remains the exception for male politicians but still the rule for women. A very wise columnist once said that every woman running for office must mention her husband and kiddies, and how she "plans to combine her work with her family," but nobody expects a man to discuss the same. Several decades later, this is still pretty much the case. Pelosi has impeccable "woman credentials" for all those who are afraid of castrating spinster bitches in power.
Perhaps what our elected officials need is a daily reminder of why this all matters. Imagine the career of Strom Thurmond had he chosen to include all of his children. Including Essie Mae Washington, the unplanned and unwanted result of a funny valentine I like to call rape. It would be quite a doozy for our elected officials to also invite to the podium each of their adulterous affairs, as well, and any offspring they produced.

As progressive and inherently superior as we in the Western world tend to view ourselves, it's interesting to note that three Muslim nations (Pakistan, Bangladesh & Indonesia), two of which have very strong fundamentalist movements of their own, have elected women as prime ministers. So when it comes to equality and freeing the Middle East from tyranny, we've still got a long way to go in our own backyard.
The first Black governor elected to represent MA and only the second overall, period. The first ever female speaker of the House. Small steps for mankind, quantum leaps for this country as a whole. Politics as usual? Let's hope not.
"This is an historic moment - for the Congress, and for the women of this country. It is a moment for which we have waited more than 200 years. Never losing faith, we waited through the many years of struggle to achieve our rights. But women weren't just waiting, women were working. Never losing faith, we worked to redeem the promise of America, that all men and women are created equal. For our daughters and granddaughters, today we have broken the marble ceiling.
The election of 2006 was a call to change - not merely to change the control of Congress, but for a new direction for our country. Nowhere were the American people more clear about the need for a new direction than in Iraq.
The American people rejected an open-ended obligation to a war without end. Shortly, President Bush will address the nation on the subject of Iraq. It is the responsibility of the President to articulate a new plan for Iraq that makes it clear to the Iraqis that they must defend their own streets and their own security, a plan that promotes stability in the region, and that allows us to responsibly redeploy American forces.
Let us be the Congress that rebuilds our military to meet the national security challenges of the 21st century.
Let us be the Congress that strongly honors our responsibility to protect our people from terrorism.
Let us be the Congress that never forgets our commitment to our veterans and first responders, always honoring them as the heroes they are.
The American people also spoke clearly for a new direction here at home - they desire a new vision, a new America, built on the values that made our country great."
Labels: Congress, Democratic Party, Deval Patrick, feminism, history, Nancy Pelosi, politics, race, women
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Things that make you go... whoops!

I figured end-of-year was the perfect time to embark on turning the page and starting anew, but it helps to actually do that when you have a web designer who works on a realistic schedule as opposed to a lackey who ends up bucking for Best Bullshit Artist in a Supporting Role because they can't function outside of CP time. I can deal with being banished to a waiting list, but time is money and sitting on the sidelines while I wait another 3 months for everything to be ready is nothing short of blog euthanasia. So, I'm gonna ride this happy bunny's ears till the wheels fall off. Or whenever I decide to mosey on over to Barnes & Noble for a long-overdue copy of the idiot's guide to cooking up my own template. I'm clicking my red patent Louboutins thrice in mock defeat... there's no place like home.
Labels: arrested development, false start, rants
Monday, January 01, 2007
Anywhere but Times Square...

Labels: celebration, holiday