Although life generally guarantees more twists and turns than the latest scream machine unveiling at Six Flags, there are some certainties that are absolute no matter what you do. Paying taxes, death and hating the alarm clock jolt to remind you that the weekend is officially over ranks at the top of my list.

It was just another manic Monday and by the time noon rolled around and I was refueling on two cups of hazelnut coffee by the half hour just to keep from crawling under my desk for a catnap, I was so wishing it was Sunday. Little did I know a midday summons of the Mama said knock you out variety was waiting for me right around the bend when my Razr started going off like a bat out of hell.

"Hello, we have a person-to-person call for you from Nassau County Correctional Facility. Will you accept the charges?"

Who? What? Where?

My mind was racing as I heard myself saying yes and being patched through to the voice on the other end awaiting the connection. The playful swagger that was usually right beneath the surface was deflated. In its place was a sullen tone that spoke my name as an unsure query rather than a definite statement. I couldn't get many details that would answer all the question marks dancing around my brain.

Would this be life imitating art as a homage to an Alicia Keys video on the way to East Meadow to find what trouble this fool wrought on himself this time around? Or do I play it smart and leave him to fence for himself when he needs someone close by the most? I opted for the latter.

Life really does have one twisted sense of humor, indeed.