Stories like this are the stuff of Vivid Video screenplays and what horny beer chugger's dreams are made of. And Paul Tagliabue thought Janet Jackson's nipple was the least of his worries... leave it to those crazy cracka broads to do a pop star one better. Heard the one about the two pro cheerleaders that wound up in a bar engaged in some good ol' Southern hospitality inside a bathroom stall and got arrested for disorderly conduct once the cops arrived? Doesn't ring a bell? Well, let me fill in the blanks off the newswire...

TAMPA (AP) — Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested at a bar where witnesses told police the women were having sex in a restroom stall, angering patrons waiting in line.

Renee Thomas, 20, of Pittsboro, N.C., and Angela Keathley, 26, of Belmont, N.C., were taken to Hillsborough County Jail early Sunday. Witnesses said the women were having sex with each other in a stall at the club in the Channelside district.

They were kicked off the team Monday for violating a signed code that bans conduct embarrassing to the team or organization, Panthers spokesman Charlie Dayton said. [source: USA Today]

Now judging by this booking photo, the only offense is in revealing in gruesome detail just how much a good makeup job can cover up. Remember the days when cheerleaders were the bitches you spent 1st through 6th period hating on a daily basis? Now look (if you must) as what passes for pom-pom waving material these days.

Even more of a kneeslapper is the blatant hypocrisy once you get past the shock value to the fine print. "Conduct embarrassing to the team or organization"? You mean the same team that dragged their feet on suspending an alleged murderer in Rae Carruth? A league that looks the other way when Minnesota Vikings players organize a booze cruise with professionals of the call girl variety? That counts Viagra as a corporate sponsor? Cut the shit already...a sapphic bar sampler is the most exciting thing to hit North Carolina since the last dirt car series at 311 Speedway. And let's face it...if two cheerleaders can't get it on in public, then we're letting the terrorists win. Because we're fighting them over there, so we don't lose our girl-on-girl action here.