Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Why you can't turn Bartles & Jaymes into beaujolais
Exhibit A: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle
With apologies to Argentina, please save your tears for Sienna Miller. News broke earlier this week that her fiancé and Sexiest Man In Da Wurrrrrrrrld (at least, according to PEOPLE) Jude Law issued a public apology for getting caught playing naked Twister in bed by his son with nanny Daisy Wright. I suppose this is the part where the studio audience is supposed to go "awwww" in unison. But hold the box of Kleenex! This C-list blonde began her relationship with Law while he was still married to first wife, Sadie Frost. Now I don't know about you, but if *I* met a movie star that had more baggage than Samsonite on the set of a remake that's a how-to guide of Pimping Hoes 101 (a.k.a. Alfie for those in the dark) while knowing that it's a bit too easy for him to get in character for the Brit cad role, the danger signs would be blinking like paparazzi flashes at first hellos. Then again, it's better to be an "almost was" rather than a "no-name" in Hollyweird. Now she's gone from couture-wearin' ingenue on the verge to hiding out in sweats at her parents' flat in London. Turnabout's a bitch, ain't it? Somewhere Sadie's snickering hard at these turn of events...perusing Harrod's with a smirk that says "This young tramp had to learn the hard way. Told your ass so."
Exhibit B: Motor City Madness
The nomad also known as Larry Brown has reverted back to his carpetbagging ways and wriggled out of his contract with the Detroit Pistons. The season-long handwringing is over and a settlement's been reached. I know all about his insistent denials about leaving his head coach post to bolt yet AGAIN and how much he professed to want to stay in the D. So firing or buyout? Guess we can file this one as another unsolved mystery for Robert Stack & Co. to sort out, but either way it serves Joe Dumars and Bill Davidson right. Rick Carlisle wound up the sacrificial lamb in '03 to place their bets on a man notorious for coming down with the 2nd/3rd season itch before it's time to pull up stakes. Has it been forgotten how they swooped down like Superhead on a married rap star and poached him from Philly?
Why is it now we're supposed to be surprised at the outcome and question Brown's allegiance? What the hell were they expecting? Okay, so Knicks fans become the eager customers waiting for their lapdance with 10-15 more wins as the carrot on the golden stick. The patsy just willing to leap at the chance for a legend with a big name and an equally big resume. Exactly how my fellow Jets fans felt after we pulled a heist to land Bill Parcells at the Meadowlands only to sob in our draft brews once Bill Belichick gave Gang Green the finger with one day clocked in on the job. But I digress...
Is it really worth pretending that the roster's not a logjam of 20 guards that haven't learned how to pass the rock, no real big man in the middle and a salary cap so clogged, Liquid Drano would be about as effective as Evian? Rebuilding's a profane word in a city that's so expectant, we get the Sunday paper on Saturday – (yep, we're THAT impatient), so investing more funds on someone with more commitment issues than a playboy facing reform is a step in the wrong direction. We've got a better chance at drafting a decent lottery pick than rolling the dice on Brown sticking around for the 5+ years it'll take to right this sinking ship. I know you wanna make a splash on the back pages, Zeke...but let's revive Nancy Reagan's feel-good 80's slogan. Just say NO.
- Butta commented at 7/21/2005 04:34:00 PM~
I thought you'd get a kick outta this:
Jude's Ex-Wife Has Advice for His Fiancée
If THAT aint some stuff! Bwah ha ha!
- Butta commented at 7/21/2005 04:37:00 PM~
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- Rell commented at 7/22/2005 02:12:00 AM~
I'mma have to disagree with you here. Everywhere Larry goes (he's a Tar Heel like me) he instantly turns the team around.
A minimum of 10 games. I mean he took the Clippers to the playoffs in the 90's, the freakin Clippers!
But how feel how you might be concerned. Stephen A was talkin about it on his radio show yesterday. but yea keep blogging, i'm loving your blog.
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